AITA: Mom pleads with sister to stop giving gifts to one child and snubbing the other on their birthdays
Reddit’s Am I The A**hole (AITA) subreddit has seen its fair share of family feuds, but this one may hit every parent in the feels.
A mom turned to the Internet for clarity after a gift-giving debacle left her questioning if she’d crossed the line by asking her sister to stop giving presents to one of her kids if she wasn’t going to do the same for the other.
The mom (OP) laid it all out in a now-viral post titled: “AITA for asking my sister to not buy presents for one of my children if she wasn’t going to buy for the other child?”
Concerned mother lays out the problem at hand
OP has two kids, ages 10 and 3, with birthdays exactly one month apart. Her older child recently received a thoughtful birthday gift from their aunt, while the younger sibling got… nothing.
At first, OP chalked it up to an oversight - after all, the relationship with her sister (who’s 50) has always been a bit rocky. But when she casually reminded her sister about the younger child’s birthday for next year, the response she got was jaw-dropping.
Her sister flat-out admitted she knew about the toddler’s birthday but didn’t bother to acknowledge it. Cue flashbacks to an earlier comment where the sister joked she’d “start buying her presents when she likes me.”
Now, let’s talk about the toddler in question. According to OP, her 3-year-old is shy and has a tendency to bury herself in her mom’s lap when meeting people. Totally normal for a kid her age, many would say. But not to this aunt, who seems to have taken the toddler’s natural behavior as some kind of personal vendetta.
What's more? When the older sibling noticed the younger one didn’t get a gift, it didn’t spark joy. It sparked guilt.
Not wanting her kids to feel hurt — or have to lie to smooth things over — OP decided to confront the situation. She told her sister it wasn’t fair to give gifts to just one child and asked her to stick to birthday wishes instead of presents if she wasn’t going to treat both kids equally.
The Internet weighs in on mother's dilemna and slams her sister
Redditors didn’t hold back. Most were firmly on the mother's side, slamming the sister for her petty behavior.
"NTA," one wrote. “It’s a little disturbing that your sister doesn’t buy your 3-year-old gifts unless she shows affection to her 😬.”
Another piled on, “Your sister is punishing a shy toddler for being shy. Who the hell does that? And she wants this child to like her? Not likely!”
Someone else chimed in: “The only AH I see here is your sister who is petty enough to punish a 3 y.o. for comitting the unforgivable crime of not liking her. Frankly, I'd totally understand your youngest if that was the case (although I believe that she simply doesn't know her aunt enough). It's really difficult to like a adult that acts with such pettiness and close-mindness.”
Of course, there were some who played Devil’s Advocate.
One commenter speculated that the sister’s “when she likes me” comment might’ve been an awkward joke to cover up financial struggles.
“It can be really difficult to prioritize gifts in different circumstances, especially if a person may not have the financial means to get everybody gifts. Some may then suggest that your sister should tell you. I'm not sure everybody understands how difficult that conversation can be... admitting you don't have the means to buy gifts for all nieces/nephews," they insisted.
Another put on his amateur psychologist's hat to give his take.
“NTA But with an amateur psychologist hat on, it’s not hard to see why your much older sister is favouring the older sibling. Maybe she felt left out when her younger sister got gifts and attention, and she’s overcompensating in the next generation," they offered.
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